What gets seen gets shared
The mental load isn't doing the chores: it's thinking about them for two. Kotidy takes the "remember to" out of your head: chores rotate, reminders land with the right person, and the split becomes factual.
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The problem isn't the washing-up, it's remembering it
In most households, one person carries the entire mental inventory: what's left in the fridge, the vaccine that's due, the overdue laundry, the present to buy. The other "helps" when asked, and that's precisely the problem: having to ask is still carrying it.
The only lasting way out: move that inventory into a tool BOTH of you check, with reminders that go straight to the person concerned, no go-between.
The rota decides, nobody has to ask
Recurring Chores alternate automatically between members. Everyone opens the app and sees THEIR day: no more need for someone to hand out, chase up or check.
The fairness board weights by difficulty and shows everyone's actual contribution, with no rankings. You stop arguing over impressions, you look at it together and adjust.
Everything else follows the same principle
The shopping list everyone adds to when they finish the milk. The week's meal plan decided once, together. Appointments in the shared calendar with a reminder for the participants. Fewer "you never told me", more teamwork.
The mental load is thinking about everything, for everyone, all the time. An app doesn't do the housework, but it takes the "remember to" out of the head of the person carrying it all: chores rotate automatically, reminders reach the right person, and the split becomes visible to both of you.
Start small, see results fast
A shared shopping list and four chores on a rota: that's often all it takes to feel the difference in the very first week.
Want to go further? our guide to sharing household chores